My little brunette

When Truman was first born, his hair was so blond, he qualified as a tow-head. Once his hair grew in as an infant, he was a true blond. Then, about six months ago, it started to darken. These pictures show the progressive change over four consecutive Novembers.

I love fall!

Weight Check

So, he's still a munchkin, but he is getting taller. Truman weighs 25 pounds even, which means he gained only 3 ounces in three months. However, during that same time period, he grew 1.5 inches. We finally got to pack away the 12-18 month clothes!

First Round of Tests Done

Based on conversations with my OB/GYN and my own research, our miscarriage was not a fluke. It wasn't "one of those things, "it didn't "just happen" and it wasn't "just not meant to be." As I have learned over the last few weeks, almost all so-called "random" miscarriages happen before 9 weeks and almost all involve chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus. Neither was the case for us.

Fortunately, I have a forward-thinking doctor who is willing to order tests rather than wait for me to have more than two consecutive losses (as the current obstetric guidelines suggest) before trying to determine why. Considering Truman's extremely easy birth, we can't risk another pregnancy without more knowledge. We still think incompetent cervix is what caused Truman's early birth, but it's possible that it could have been something else. Additionally, my doctor was also looking out for my mental health. Miscarriage is hard enough for any woman, but compound that with the timing of this one and my history regarding Truman, she said couldn't let me try another pregnancy without attempting to make it more certain of a positive outcome.

At this point, we have no idea what happened, so we started with the most statistically likely scenario. On Monday, I gave 15 vials of blood for a thrombophilia panel and other assorted medical tests like lupus. A thrombophilia panel tests for various clotting disorders, which is the most common cause of post-fetal heartbeat miscarriages. Such clotting disorders are somewhat common, but affect different women and even different pregnancies within the same woman differently. Many of them only affect women while they are pregnant. After talking to many other women who suffered miscarriages at a similar timeframe as I did, they all seemed to have the same thing in common -- some sort of blood clotting problem. The tests take 2-3 weeks to get results.

At some point, I just want to feel my own baby's kicks. Even though I have a wonderful, beautiful three-year-old, I still have never felt my unborn child move, held my own newborn, or felt joy at giving birth. It's a pretty simple thing to ask for, don't you think?

Feeding Progress!

Truman completed a 10-week group feeding clinic at UTD's Callier Center a week ago, and we had a parent-therapist conference on Friday. Truman made more progress during the 10 weeks of this program than he had in two years of feeding therapy at Our Children's House. I think it was because this program was about teaching parents to become feeding experts and because it was based on addressing the physiological and sensory reasons why children have trouble eating instead of treating the behaviorial issues that arise out of them. Ben and Truman learned exercises to physically strengthen and train Truman's oral-motor muscles and make eating easier and less scary.

In 10 weeks, Truman went from not being able to move his tongue beyond the insides of his teeth to being able to touch the insides of his cheek. He also learned to lick his lips, check laterally (not just bite), and to draw his cheeks in to suck out of a straw and pull food in. There are a lot of other specific things he was able to accomplish that I can't really explain. But the primary thing is that he is not vomiting on a daily basis. It's more like a weekly occurrence now. And, he ASKS for food. We've started being more willing to offer, and he's more willing to try challenging foods. And, Truman actually having the physical capacity to eat means we are all FAR less stressed about eating. There has been a massive dynamic shift in our household that is wonderful.

Things have progressed so far that Truman will now meet with the therapist for one hour every three weeks or so so that she can see how he is doing on current goals and coach Ben on the next step to take. The therapist also really complimented Ben on his eagerness to really roll up his sleeves and solve Truman's feeding issues. She said having a Dad in the program really adds a dynamic to the classes she likes.

We've also phased out the reflux meds as well for the most part because even though he still has it to some degree, he seems OK without the meds.

Perfectly normal baby girl

I just spoke with my OB's nurse. We got the chromosomal tests back. It was a girl. The baby did not have any chromosomal abnormalities. We had already learned that there were no tissue abnormalities with the baby and that she was visually developing fine on ultrasound. So, by all accounts, she was a perfectly healthy baby girl. The doctor is supposed to call tomorrow to talk about what we do next. Due to the timing of this miscarriage (and particularly when compounded by what happened with Truman), things are pointing to a blood or other biochemical problem with me that could give us more fertility issues to come. So, it's on to testing of me presumably. This is devastating news.

This is my second baby who was perfectly fine to have suffered because of some problem with me. I know it's not my "fault," but it's still sucks nonetheless.

More cute speak

Mama: Are you a girl?
Truman: Nooooo.

Mama: Are you a boy?
Truman: Nooooo.

Mama: What are you?
Truman: Tru (with the accompanying sign)