Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Also particularly cute was the fact that he was super excited just to receive a gift from Santa and squealed in delight about the wrapped gift without even knowing what was inside. Christmas morning is going to be a lot of fun at our house this year.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Because the treatment for MTHFR is relatively simple (though not remarkably effective) -- extra folic acid and vitamin B--I will probably do it anyway in a future pregnancy just in case the homocysteine levels, which are somewhat dynamic, do decide to rise in the future.
All this leads us back to knowing that due to the timing of the loss and the good genetic health and development health of the baby, something went wrong with my body on this pregnancy, but we don't know what it was or whether it will happen again. We only know what it's not.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Fortunately, I have a forward-thinking doctor who is willing to order tests rather than wait for me to have more than two consecutive losses (as the current obstetric guidelines suggest) before trying to determine why. Considering Truman's extremely easy birth, we can't risk another pregnancy without more knowledge. We still think incompetent cervix is what caused Truman's early birth, but it's possible that it could have been something else. Additionally, my doctor was also looking out for my mental health. Miscarriage is hard enough for any woman, but compound that with the timing of this one and my history regarding Truman, she said couldn't let me try another pregnancy without attempting to make it more certain of a positive outcome.
At this point, we have no idea what happened, so we started with the most statistically likely scenario. On Monday, I gave 15 vials of blood for a thrombophilia panel and other assorted medical tests like lupus. A thrombophilia panel tests for various clotting disorders, which is the most common cause of post-fetal heartbeat miscarriages. Such clotting disorders are somewhat common, but affect different women and even different pregnancies within the same woman differently. Many of them only affect women while they are pregnant. After talking to many other women who suffered miscarriages at a similar timeframe as I did, they all seemed to have the same thing in common -- some sort of blood clotting problem. The tests take 2-3 weeks to get results.
At some point, I just want to feel my own baby's kicks. Even though I have a wonderful, beautiful three-year-old, I still have never felt my unborn child move, held my own newborn, or felt joy at giving birth. It's a pretty simple thing to ask for, don't you think?
Monday, November 16, 2009
In 10 weeks, Truman went from not being able to move his tongue beyond the insides of his teeth to being able to touch the insides of his cheek. He also learned to lick his lips, check laterally (not just bite), and to draw his cheeks in to suck out of a straw and pull food in. There are a lot of other specific things he was able to accomplish that I can't really explain. But the primary thing is that he is not vomiting on a daily basis. It's more like a weekly occurrence now. And, he ASKS for food. We've started being more willing to offer, and he's more willing to try challenging foods. And, Truman actually having the physical capacity to eat means we are all FAR less stressed about eating. There has been a massive dynamic shift in our household that is wonderful.
Things have progressed so far that Truman will now meet with the therapist for one hour every three weeks or so so that she can see how he is doing on current goals and coach Ben on the next step to take. The therapist also really complimented Ben on his eagerness to really roll up his sleeves and solve Truman's feeding issues. She said having a Dad in the program really adds a dynamic to the classes she likes.
We've also phased out the reflux meds as well for the most part because even though he still has it to some degree, he seems OK without the meds.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
This is my second baby who was perfectly fine to have suffered because of some problem with me. I know it's not my "fault," but it's still sucks nonetheless.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
On the eating front:
On Friday night, Truman ate his own dinner for the first time in his life. Granted, he got most of his calories from the cup he had after the food, but he did the whole meal by himself without assistance. Dinner included approximately:12-15 macaroni noodles; 3 cheeto puffs; 1 cube of cheese; a couple of bites of cream cheese dip licked off a ritz cracker; 4-6 veggie sticks; and 1 goldfish. He then drank about 4 ounces of milk + Carnation instant breakfast out a straw. We still have a long way to go in getting him to tolerate multi-textured food, but this was huge. It felt so normal.
On the talking front:
- Overheard on the baby monitor while Truman fell asleep: Truman having a conversation with "Bear" about hats (I think). Then Truman telling all the lovies in his bed good night. Then Truman says "All done, Bear" and is completely silent from there on out.
- Overheard while falling asleep at naptime a couple of weekends ago: "Mama big. Daddy big. Tiiiiiiiiiny boy."
- Said to me after I got off the speaker phone with Ben in the car last night after Ben had been out of town overnight: "Miss daddy Tru. Daddy home."
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
The baby appears to have been developing normally until just a few days ago. There are no physical markers of abnormality. Due to the timing of my delivery with Truman and this loss being after the heartbeat, the doctor is going to send the fetus and placenta off for testing following the D&C to make sure that I don't have some biochemical issue with carrying pregnancies.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Me: Good night, Truman. (both signed and spoken)
Truman: Good night, Mama. (both signed and spoken)
Me: I Love You.
Truman: Shut door.
Setting: Getting dressed into pajamas on the changing table
Me: Do you think Mama's baby is a boy or girl?
Truman: (Lifts my shirt and looks into my belly button) Girl.
Me: I Love You, Truman.
Truman Signs: Love You
Truman Says: Too.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Truman is proud to announce that he is going to be a big brother. His brother or sister is due April 27. We had our first sonogram yesterday. The baby has a strong heartbeat at 168 bpm (looking for anything above 100 at this point) and is currently measuring 6 days ahead.
This will be a long (hopefully), carefully monitored pregnancy. Of particular importance for any pregnancy I have is that my cervical measurement looks good at 4.3. We want to stay above 2.5. The fun begins on October 13 when I have the cerclage procedure. Super intense monitoring will begin in November when I reach the danger zone for IC.